


One of the Guys

by thegodmachine



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, F/M, Gender or Sex Swap, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2018-12-04 06:39:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11549601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegodmachine/pseuds/thegodmachine
Summary: Hermione and Harry go under cover as the opposite sex for journalism without knowing who the other is. As they do the project they begin to develop feelings for each other that confuse and frighten them while their friends around them are also in a mess of feelings.





	1. The Article

**Author's Note:**

> This story is based off an 80's gender bender movie called "Just One of the Guys" and a Boy Meets World called "Chick Like Me".
> 
> This story is being cross-posted from my fanfiction.net account with edits.

“Hermione!” Ginny called to her bushy-haired friend.  
  
Hermione raised her head from her book and saw Ginny walking towards her from the entrance of the Great Hall. She gave a weak smile and felt a small pool of dread fill in her belly—not for the arrival of her friend necessarily, but for the conversation that would inevitably follow. Ginny was her best friend and only a year below her, but Ginny had random bouts of madness that expressed itself in conversations about boys and gossip that Hermione honestly had to admit she found hard to be interested in. She'd much rather talk about homework.  
  
“How was the homecoming dance?” Ginny asked eagerly as she sat down in front of her.  
  
Any public event where Ginny had an opportunity to get dolled up and wear her best robes or dance with boys quickly sent the redhead into a tizzy that could rival either Patil sister…not that Hermione was degrading Ginny. She wasn’t. Honestly, Hermione could envy how much fun Ginny had when Hermione’s greatest adventures were what she could read in her books. The tragedy of it all was that it was Hermione who had the boyfriend. A fellow prefect named Terry Boot who Hermione found common interests with and yet she felt herself uninterested in topics concerning such relationships or even the subtlest pangs or dread at at the conversation. She found it quite frustrating how different she felt to all her peers in that respect.  
  
“Don’t look at me like that,” Ginny snapped irritably as she grabbed a bagel. “You know I like to dance.”  
  
With boys.  
  
With lots and lots of boys. The unspoken words brought a sad smile to Hermione’s lips. Ginny loved boys first, and Hermione loved her books best.  
  
“Well…” She said slowly, “I assume the dance was like any other dance, not that I would know. I’ve never been to one of these before.”  
  
Hogwarts held an annual homecoming dance just for seventh year students. Of course younger years could attend if they had a seventh year date, but Ginny’s older brother had scared off all her potential suitors much to her disappointment.  
  
“Did you have fun?” Ginny asked. She recognized Hermione’s words as a verbal sidestep to the true answer.  
  
“Hmmm,” Hermione sighed. “I guess. I mean, what should I have expected? Terry had all of his friends there, so….It’s not really my type of event anyway.” There was a reason that Hermione really liked her books first. They could feed her passion and knowledge at the same time where as with boys; she suddenly felt a disconnection and awkwardness. But Terry who was sorted into Ravenclaw had seemed just like her. She had met him when they both reached for the special edition of 'Hogwarts: A History' in the library last year. She felt the spark and the rest was history. She giggled at her pun while Ginny sent her a strange look.  
  
“Well it can’t have been so bad,” Ginny said, “You’re smiling now…unless—you didn’t sleep with him, did you?” Ginny asked her eyes wide.    
  
Hermione quickly shook her head. "Ginny!" She admonished.  
  
“Then why the wide smile?” She asked.  
  
“I was just having a thought to myself,” Hermione said. “Why would you assume I gave up my virginity?”  
  
“Well…it was either that or you broke up with him and eloped with your Arithmancy textbook. Either one seemed to suggest sex,” Ginny teased her.  
  
“You are disgusting,” Hermione sighed. “And I would never ruin a book in the manner of which you are suggesting.”  
  
“True,” Ginny agreed. “So...does this mean you broke up with him?”  
  
“No,” Hermione sighed. “Stop with the assumptions. And why are my options to sleep with him or break up with him? Anyway, I thought you liked him?”  
  
“Assumptions-smumptions! And I do like him just fine. I actually think you should hold on to him,” Ginny said. “He’s like the male version of you. Studious, serious knowledge-aholic, and...All that over-achiever stuff you enjoy. You’ll never find another like him.”  
  
“We’re not this boring couple you make us out to be,” Hermione said defensively. “We do romantic things sometimes. I was actually able to squeeze one dance in last night before I lost him to his friends.”  
  
“Lost him to his friends?” Ginny asked confused. “He ditched you?”  
  
“Well not so much…I saw him throughout the evening. I can understand wanting to see your friends though,” she explained. "This being the beginning of our final year and all."  
  
“But you’re his girlfriend,” Ginny said. “And this was a dance!"  
  
Hermione shook her head earnestly, “But, it ended up alright, I guess. I’m not really into dancing or all those ridiculous activities. I left early, anyway, just in time to see my newspapers get delivered from the printers. I set them up outside the Great Hall this morning. Today’s the first edition ever for the Hogwarts Daily. It’s a look at summer and homecoming preparations…” She stopped talking as she caught Ginny turning her head away, “What is it?”  
  
“Nothing,” Ginny mumbled.  
  
“What is it, Ginny?” Hermione asked seriously. “Why did you do have that shifty look on your face?”  
  
“I knew I shouldn’t have bought you that book on how to read body language for your birthday,” Ginny half-hardheartedly joked.  
  
“Ginny,” Hermione demanded, “Just tell me. You’ll feel better afterwards, I promise.”  
  
“Fine,” She sighed. “The newspaper, It’s a new project and all so don’t be upset,” Ginny paused at Hermione’s perplexed expression. “No one’s interested in it. The word isn't good...and no one’s even picked up a copy.”  
  
“What?” Hermione gaped, “How could no one want to catch up on current events in the school?”  
  
Ginny only shrugged. “I’ve just heard kids talking about it earlier…and to be fair it's not really the current events in school kids want to hear about.”  
  
"Changes to N.E.W.T. Testing regulations aren’t interesting? This information can make or break your career!" Hermione's snapped. "What could they possibly want if not that?"  
  
"Oh, Hermione," Ginny giggled. "Current events that everyone cares about are whether or not Padma Patil will get back together with her ex? That sorta stuff."  
  
"Gossip?" Hermione groaned. "I feel so alienated in this school."  
  
Ginny stared at Hermione who looked so sad and pathetic. “There's still a chance to turn it around.”  
  
"By publishing gossip?" Hermione said and stood up. "I have to see this for myself. Not even a single copy?"  
  
She walked out of the Great Hall and Ginny followed. Their sudden departure caused many heads to turn.  
  
Hermione didn’t know what she expected when she stood outside the doors but three stacks of neatly pressed newspapers still tied up was not it. She hoped Ginny had been exaggerating. The girl was known to over exaggerate but still, the truth shown and not a single paper had been taken.  
  
Ginny came out a few moments later and stood beside her.  
  
“Hermione, I’m sorry,” Ginny said.  
  
“Not a single one,” Hermione mumbled.  
  
There were footsteps behind the two that rushed hastily towards them. The two turned around to see Ron Weasley, Ginny’s older brother, run over to them. He didn’t even acknowledge either girl as he pulled out his wand. He cut the bindings around the first stack of papers. Hermione felt her heart rise.  
  
‘Finally,’ she thought, ‘someone wants to read it...even if it is Ron Weasley.’ He grabbed about half the stack.  
  
“Ron?” Ginny asked suspiciously. She had a bad feeling. Ron barely ever read anything, which include homework assignments, potion ingredient labels, clothes tags, and least of all newspapers so why would he need so many papers?  
  
He turned around and smiled, “Oh, hey, Ginny,” he said.  
  
“Why do you need that many?” She asked suspiciously as she eyed the load he carried.  
  
“Oh,” Ron looked down at the papers he was holding, “Neville flooded the bathroom and, we…uh,” He blushed, “Can’t remember the cleaning spell.”  
  
Hermione felt her hopes get crushed and anger replace it. She walked over to Ron and grabbed the stack of newspapers from his arms. She glared at him, “Its ‘Scourgify’.”  
  
Ron looked at her funny. Hermione never gotten along with him or any of his friends. You would think of all their years spent in the same classes and same house they would have had developed some level of tolerance for each other but no. The dislike between them was so strong that she should've known better. Of course he would not be the fist person to express genuine interest in her paper and of course he would want to use it to clean up a bathroom flood: An actual rag.  
  
The antagonism began in their first year from what she perceived to be on his end. For some reason he always seemed to find it distasteful to be in her presence, so much so that sometimes when she was simply near some of his friends, he would come and drag them away from her. That was the main reason why Hermione was so lonely. But she did have Ginny and now Terry.  
  
“Whatever,” he mumbled casting a dark look at her before he rushed back to the tower.  
  
“‘Whatever’,” Ginny mimicked in a mockingly deep voice.  
  
“Let’s just go to class,” Hermione sighed, feeling defeated.

 

* * *

  
  
Ginny and Hermione separated further down the hall. Ginny went up the stairs to the second floor to attend charms while Hermione rushed all the way to the fifth floor just in time to be five minutes early to her transfiguration class. Hermione sat in the second row and took out her book, a roll of parchment, black ink, and an eagle feather quill. She also placed her wand on the binding of the book and neatly placed her hands in her lap.  
  
A few minutes later a throng of giggling Hufflepuffs entered the room. They walked past Hermione and took their seats near the window. She watched them idly, smiling when one of them told a joke she found funny.  
   
Not long after, a group of boys, Hermione recognized as Ron and his friends walked into the classroom. They were talking in low whispers with their heads bent close together. As they walked by, Hermione saw Ron slightly nod his head in her direction then mumble something about bossy-know-it-alls.  
  
She felt her face flush and turned her gaze away. They walked past her and took their seats at the back of the room. The last to enter the room was Professor McGonagall. She swept into the room and stood by the desk. The class focused their attention on the graying woman as she stood with her back straight, demanding attention, and with the fiercest look in her eye that Hermione had ever seen.  
  
“Class,” She began, “Today, as my expectations have not changed, I expect you to pay closer attention because the magic we are learning today demands focus, talent, and competence.” She looked around the room. “The spell I will teach you is called ‘Sunor Ot Celfer’. Now who can tell me what this spell does?” She looked around her classroom, “Anyone?”  
  
Hermione recognized that spell. She raised her hand slowly. She had read about it in the library when she was researching information on Ramona Ragmuff, A medieval witch who turned her cheating husband into a beard-shaving woman for a week. She shuddered. The book had shown a painting done of the husband when he had been cursed. Hermione had found the transformation fascinating and memorable. The spell name, Sunor Ot Celfer, actually meant ‘Reflector on us’ which would be the opposite physical reflection of an object or in Mr. Ragmuff’s case, ‘opposite’ would be his gender.  
  
“Yes, Miss Granger,” McGonagall called, “What can you tell us about the spell?”  
  
“It would change you into the opposite sex of yourself,” She answered, “Not your personality but just your physical appearance.” She blushed when she heard a few classmates giggle.  
  
"Curious, Granger?" She heard Ron whisper.  She fought a frown.  
  
“Correct, 5 points to Gryffindor,” McGonagall said. "I will now demonstrate.” She pointed her wand at herself, closed her eyes and recited, “Tonma Itahw Tubma Iohw Tonmai.”  
  
Her body lit up by a golden light that died down just as quickly as it appeared. Instead of the severe looking female teacher with long black hair pulled back into a tight bun and sharp eyes that they were used to, there now stood a severe looking male teacher with short black hair greying at the sides.  
  
He opened his mouth and explained with a deep voice, “Tonma Itahw tubma Iohw Tonmai, means I am not who I am but what I am not.”  
  
Hermione, like much of her peers were quite shocked by this point. Hermione, clearly the most familiar with this spell out of the students, was taken with how much this man still resembled her head of house and that such a powerful and nuanced transformation could be completed by one simple spell.  
  
Their teacher pointed the wand at himself and repeated the incantation. At once the golden light appeared and their female teacher returned.  
  
“Now, we will practice the incantation. Once you all begin that,” she spoke now in her normal voice. “You will notice nothing will happen. This spell holds no wand movement but true raw intent. To do it you must clear your mind and focus. Just let the words take over.” She looked around the room. “Despite that this spell may seem like wandless magic, the wand is required all the same to channel the spell. Now I want you to practice the pronunciation.” she repeated the words slowly several times to allow the students to pronounce it correctly and it took the entire class period for less than half the class to say it right.  
  
Hermione exited the classroom and walked quickly to her next lesson: charms. Professor Flitwick was one of her favorite teachers so she immensely enjoyed the lesson. She was partnered with Neville Longbottom as they reviewed several charms. Charms, as a common practice of magic, was one of the largest sections on the N.E.W.T.s and therefore Flitwick began reviews before most other teachers.  
  
Hermione breezed through the class with minimal effort, though as the year continued she was sure this class would take up more of her attention. Thoughts of N.E.W.T.s made her think of her failure of a newspaper launch. Maybe she was in over her head. Clearly what she was interested in writing wasn't what her peers were interested in reading. Could she juggle this with her classes? Should she?  
  
In no time, the class was already dismissed and students were pouring down to the Great Hall for lunch. Hermione, though, couldn't shake thoughts of her newspaper failure and walked to her head of house’s office. She knocked timidly.  
  
“Come in,” McGonagall answered. Hermione entered the room and saw the woman sitting behind her desk with papers scattered around her. She glanced up when Hermione entered. “Good morning, Miss Granger.”  
  
“Good morning, Professor,” Hermione repeated. McGonagall made one last mark on a paper she appeared to be grading before she redirected her attention on Hermione. She shuffled things around her desk and folded her hands.     
      
“Professor,” Hermione started, cutting straight to the chase, “Hogwarts Daily isn’t moving. And while I love writing, I’m not sure I can appreciate this as a worthwhile activity. I’ve thought of this today and I’m wondering if I should even continue with the paper. I’m starting to wonder if it is just is a waste of time.”  
      
She felt bad for giving up, but all her efforts in publishing a newspaper could be focused on studying for N.E.W.T.S. If no one wanted to catch up on important topics then who was she to keep publishing?  
  
“Miss Granger, in no time of history has writing a newspaper ever been a waste of time,” McGonagall said. She looked at Hermione’s eager face. “Maybe you should try spicing it up a little, writing a story that will appeal to the teenage nature, a headline article that will hold the interest of the school and fit in the educational articles where you please.”  
  
“Teenage nature?” Hermione asked. Gossip. Ginny was right. “I don’t think it’s in the teenage nature to read,” she said meanly.  
  
“Plenty of publications advertise to teenagers,” McGonagall said fairly. “Now I know you're not the type to quit so I won't accept your resignation as chief editor of the Hogwarts Daily.” She smiled at her. “I know you'd regret this.”  
  
Hermione lowered her head in shame.  
  
“I know you can do better. You're a very clever witch, Miss Granger, so give it some thought and I'm sure you will realize how to turn the paper around.”  
  
“You really think I can connect to the students of Hogwarts?” She asked.  
  
“Are you not one yourself?” She asked.  
  
“Yes, but I'm not…” Hermione blushed, hating that she felt so alienated from them but realized she didn't want to dump her problems on her teacher, and a teacher who had faith in her. “You're right. I'll figure something out.”  
  
“Now that that is decided I must return to marking these homework assignments. You should return to lunch.”  
  
Hermione nodded, though this conversation left her feeling no better and with no answers. She awkwardly turned towards the door when her teacher called back to her: “Oh and Miss Granger.” She held up a marked essay. “You're a wonderful writer. I enjoy your points on organic to inorganic transformations. Don't be dissuaded by your little setback. Great accomplishments are never easy.”  
  
“Thank you, Professor,” Hermione said.


	2. The Break Up

Harry sat across from Ron during lunch. Ron was bragging about how he was finally able to snag a date with Padma Patil, the most beautiful girl in the Ravenclaw house.  
  
“So I’m walking to class and she’s in front of me talking to some other bird,” Ron said, “And she’s all hung up on her breakup with er," He snapped his fingers, "What's his name—”  
  
“Michael Carmichael,” Harry interrupted, having heard this story already, and this compounded with the school gossip, he was sure he could past a test on Padma's live life easier than he could in charms. “He’s the Head Boy. How do you not remember his name?”  
  
The breakup was all over the school and he was sure that even the first years had heard about it. Hell, even Granger must have at some point. If their relationship's deterioration wasn’t being talked about during class or whispered about in the hallways than it was carved into the bathroom stalls.  
  
“Yeah, him. Anyway, so I go up—”  
  
“Ron,” Harry interrupted. “I know this story. You told me six times already. You ‘maturely’—as the ‘gentleman’ you are, mind you—walk up behind her and politely ask her for a date,” Harry said and rolled his eyes at the face Ron made at Harry’s mocking description of him. “And you did describe yourself as mature. I'm not making that part up,” he said.  
  
“Hang in, mate, you don't think I'm mature?”  
  
Harry shook his head.  
  
“Gentlemanly?”  
  
“You're hilarious,” he said.  
  
“Some friend you are,” Ron grumbled sarcastically.  
  
Ron was far from a gentleman what with his ill-fitting clothes, crude way of talking and overall promiscuous behavior but somehow, even though he wasn’t the best looking boy in their year or had the best track record with relationships; Ron had always charmed his women with a reckless smile. It was pure madness. Harry would have hated Ron if it wasn't for the twinge of admiration he felt. Ron wasn't the kindess of boys but he still beat Harry's nil experience.  
  
“Slytherin tits. Here I was trying to tell a story,” Ron said in an annoyed voice. “You never let me finish any stories.”  
  
“I let you finish that story six times already," he said and Ron choked on his drink. "But I’m sorry,” Harry teased. “Please, go right ahead.”  
  
Ron scowled then said in a pitiful voice, “Now I don’t want to.”  
  
“Want to what?” Lavender Brown, a girl in their year, asked. She was a classic beauty with golden blonde hair that ran silkily down her back. She also had brown eyes clouded over with mystery. She smiled sweetly at them as she sat down next to Ron.  
  
“Ron was just telling me his story of how he wooed the intellectual Miss Patil into a date with him,” Harry said sarcastically.  
  
“Oh…Hey, wait,” Lavender said. “I thought Parvati said she would never go out with Ron even if he was the last sperm-carrying male on the universe and she was the last egg-bearing woman in the universe and the survival of the human race depended on them having sex together because she knows oh-so well that’s what dates with Ronald Weasley means. Sex!”  
   
Ron smirked at Lavender as she grabbed an apple and chuckled. “I’ll give you points on details but, actually, I’ve got a date with the other one…um…”  
  
“Padma,” Harry filled in. Honestly. He wasn’t all that surprised by Ron’s behavior, he did love women, but to not even remember the girl’s name, especially since it is the most talked about gossip at the moment, was just shameful. He shook his head at his friend’s idiocy.  
  
“Padma, that’s right…And not the other one, Padme—”  
  
“Parvati. Merlin, Ron!”  
  
Ron blushed, while Lavender looked at him with disgust. “Didn’t Padma just break up with that one guy?”  
  
“Yeah, good old what's his name,” Ron joked.  
  
“Michael Carmichael,” Harry said. “I told you a few minutes ago.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah,” Ron said.  
  
“Aww,” She giggled, “Poor guy.” She gave a motherly pout before she burst out laughing. “Let me have him, and I’m sure no one will forget his name because I’ll be screaming it all night long.”  
   
“Eww, Lav,” Ron cried childishly, “You with a sex life is so gross.”  
  
Harry stared at his friends awkwardly. A few people had already turned to them from the noise they were making.  
  
“Wait a minute,” Lavender heaved as her laughter died off, “If she’s into the Head Boy-types, which infers, I’m sure, a mature smart boy then why is she going on a date with you?”  
  
“Because why get your heart broken by a smart boy,” Ron answered, “When you can have the time of your life with—”  
  
“With a dumb one?” Lavender asked. "And then regret it later."  
  
Ron glared at her. “—With me.”  
  
Lavender smiled before frowning. “Merlin!” She snapped. “She must be in desperate need of a rebound if she said yes to you."  
  
"You are no fun," Ron sighed. "You already at that bitter hag stage?"  
  
Lavender scowled at him. "I hate you."  
  
"Feelings mutual," Ron said than took a bite of a roll.  
  
"I've come to an epiphany about myself," Lavender turned to Harry who she got in with far better than with Ron. "This whole conversation is really upsetting when you think about it. All this talk of breaking up and then Ron swooping in like the worst rebound ever to prey on an emotionally compromised young girl—”  
  
“Hey!” Ron snapped. "I thought this was about you?"  
  
“I'm getting to it. What I learned about myself is that it kills me when I hear about people breaking up. It makes me think there’s no happiness for anyone and yet, somehow, it pisses me off even more when they are happy with each other….”  She said bitterly.  
  
“You got cranky fast,” Harry observed.  
  
"Bitter Hag stage," Ron said.  
  
“Shut up, Ron," Harry sighed. Ron grumbled. "There's something you are not saying, Lav?”  
  
“Aren’t you observant,” She said. She seemed incapable of looking at either of them for a moment, “Jeffrey broke up with me, yesterday.” Jeffrey was also a 7th year but in the Hufflepuff house and her boyfriend since the new school year began.  
  
“Why?” Harry asked, “You two were so…” He tried to think of a word to describe their relationship. “…having so much fun with each other.”  
  
“I don’t know and..." She bit her lip than leaned forward and whispered, "I lost my virginity to him,”  
  
Ron smiled widely like he just one the jackpot while Harry blushed now knowing he was the only one of his friends who was still a virgin. Lavender always joked about boys, but she never confirmed or denied her virginity until now. “What a waste,” She grumbled.  
  
“Could you say it louder?” Ron said. "I didn't quite hear that."  
  
Lavender kicked him and he grunted.  
  
A couple people turned their heads towards them.  
  
“I mean, I kept trying to talk to him after that but he always kept disappearing. I’m at the point where I just keep expecting people to start whispering around me in the hallways. Clearly that was all he wanted from me. And with how efficient the rumor mill has been lately...”  
  
“You’re a different case, Lav,” Ron said, “No one cares enough about you to gossip.”  
  
“Thanks for the bleeding sensitivity. Lighten up a bit why don’t you, you’re drowning me in it,” She said deadpanned.  “Honestly, Ron, could you be a bigger arsehole? Here I am spilling my heart out—”  
  
“Look, I never dump my issues on you so don’t do it to me, especially at lunch,” Ron said. Harry frowned at him before glancing back at Lavender who looked very offended.  
  
“It’s alright, Lav,” He said. “You can come to me. Ron’s just an arsehole.” He hoped Lavender would end the heated discussion with Ron before it turned into a full out fight.  
  
“Not just an arsehole but a man too,” Lavender said coldly not even realizing she was stating the obvious.  
  
“Wow,” Harry said raising his eyebrows and laughing “Nothing gets passed you, Lavender.”  
  
“Well, I am pretty manly,” Ron said, “Even she can’t miss that.”  
  
“Another stupid boy,” Lavender responded. “But not you, Harry. You are the sweetest and kindest boy I’ve ever met.” Ron was laughing while she talked and Harry wanted the floor to swallow him up. Lavender glared fiercely at Ron. “All the rest are just jerks.”  
  
“Why can't I be an arsehole like other normal boys?” He implored pathetically.  
  
“You don't want to be like them,” she said.  
  
“Join the dark side, Harry,” Ron encouraged.  
  
“So, my specimen,” her gaze leveled with Ron in particular, “No one would know this better than you, so answer me this. Why are men such Jerks?”  
  
Harry raised his eyebrows higher and glanced at Ron who was smirking. “Well it’s in our genetic gene pool and as I am not a muggle scientist, but I’m sure there is something in there dealing with dormant and dominant—”  
  
“Where did you learn such big words?” Lavender asked. “You sounded a bit like Hermione there for a second.”  
  
“Don’t ever compare me to her,” Ron snapped.  
  
“But seriously, guys,” Lavender said, “Is your life goal to have as much sex as possible before you die?”  
  
Ron nodded, “Yeah that’s pretty much it.”  
  
Lavender stared at him with pity, “You do realize you’re running on the same agenda as a rabbit.”  
  
“And I love it!” Ron said.

  
  
*  *  *

  
  
That evening, Hermione sat in the sixth year girls’ room on Ginny’s bed, her homework laid out. Her friend was lying on the floor with a magazine.  
  
"Did you know Celestina Warbeck may be secretly married?" Ginny said.  
  
"I don't even know who that is," Hermione said distractedly.  
  
"That's because you're the most boring person I've ever met," GInny said. "She's a singer. Rita Skeeter caught pictures of her in Peffpurn Islands with Alan Scrimegeur. You only go there if you're intending to get married."  
  
Hermione gave no reaction.  
  
"He's fifteen years younger!" Ginny cried out. Ginny shoved the magazine into Hermione's hands, knocking the ruins textbook out of her lap.  
  
Hermione glared at Ginny before glaring at the article. It didn't help that the drivel was written by Rita Skeeter. How she hated that woman. All she did was spill secrets or tell lies about people's private lives. Hermione wanted to write editorials and comment up on social issues and politics. She wanted to bring respect back to journalism. She tossed the magazine back to Ginny.  
  
"I refuse to read anything by that woman," She said.  
  
Ginny scoffed. They fell into awkward silence, Hermione still angry at the success of Rita Skeeter. Hermione shook her head then ran a hand through her hair getting it knotted in her messy curls.  
  
“Ow!” She cried so violently that Ginny gave a small jump.  
  
Ginny looked up at her friend and laughed at her ridiculous expression. “What did you do?” She asked.  
  
“I was thinking and I got my hand knotted in my hair,” Hermione answered. Ginny leaned over the bed and grabbed Hermione’s hand and began to untangle the hair twisted around it.  
  
“What were you thinking about?” She asked. She finished with her hair and raised herself up so she was also sitting on her bed.  
  
“McGonagall told me I shouldn’t quit the paper. She said I just needed something more exciting to write about.”  
  
“Like what?” Ginny asked.  
  
"I don't know," Hermione sighed and said, “Something that would attract attention.”  
  
Ginny was quiet. She lay back on her bed her head only inches above her pillow but being supported by her elbows. “Write about that Patil girl and the ex-boyfriend….something or another….I don’t remember his name.”  
  
Hermione gasped and stared at Ginny as if the other girl had just said books were stupid.  
  
“Michael Carmichael! Our Head boy,” Hermione stared at her friend incredulously.  
  
“Ok, I get it,” Ginny sighed. “But he’s hot gossip right now.”  
  
“I couldn’t do that,” Hermione cried indignantly. “He’s so nice and smart.”  
  
“As if that gives him immunity,” Ginny said, “Everyone is waiting to dig their claws into this story. Be the reporter who delivers the straight up juicy details.”  
  
“No, I can’t do that to Michael,” Hermione sighed. “And furthermore, I’m not writing a gossip rag. I'm not Rita Skeeter!”  
  
"Rita Skeeter is entertaining as all hell," Ginny argued. "And she sells papers."  
  
Hermione shook her head. "I want to run my paper with integrity."  
  
“Then what do you suggest?” Ginny said, “Since you’re not going to take my advice.”  
  
“I—I don’t know, I just don’t want to be cruel about other students,” Hermione said. “I want this paper to be respected. Something I can be proud of. I thought about maybe writing a hard hitting article on the stresses of double lessons…”  
  
Ginny rolled her eyes.  
  
"Well it was a thought," Hermione mumbled.  
  
"McGonagall said write something that will appeal to teenagers," Ginny said. "And you want to write about classes?"  
  
"Some students might find it interesting?" Hermione defended.  
  
“Here’s an idea,” Ginny said sarcastically, “Why don’t you go under cover as someone cool and write your big article on that.”  
  
“You’re cruel,” Hermione said as she threw a pillow at the redhead then she thought about it. She liked the sound of undercover. It sounded hard-hitting. “Undercover, huh?” She said. “As a slytherin? SSSSSsssssSSSSSssss!”  
  
“No, a Hufflepuff!” Ginny said as she hopped on the bed. "Why are they so nice? Are the Hufflepuff orgies real or rumor?"  
  
"I could go undercover as you," Hermione teased. “You would know all about that?”  
  
Ginny winked at her. “Better yet, go as a guy!”  
  
“What?” Hermione cried laughing. "Where did that come from?"  
  
“No…wait,” Ginny said thoughtfully. “That’s actually an interesting idea.”  
  
“What, the guy-disguise or…” Hermione asked.  
  
“The guy one, of course!” Ginny cried and stared at Hermione with wide eyes. “No, take me seriously. Listen! Guys, they do stuff differently. They sure as hell act different. Take Ron as an example.”  
  
“I wouldn’t take Ron as an example of the human race,” Hermione said.  
  
“Okay, take Michael,” Ginny said. “He and Padma broke up because he was best friends with Lillian Talner and Padma didn’t like that. Padma thought he was cheating on her and Michael thought she was being too clingy. So going under cover as a guy would give you a firsthand look at the male mind. Why do we think so differently?”  
  
“Do we? Oh, Merlin,” Hermione mumbled, “I don’t know about this.”  
  
 “Do it,” Ginny encouraged as if it was the greatest idea in her life.  
  
“Ginny,” Hermione said slowly, “Not only is that weird but what would it accomplish? I don’t know if genders should be invaded like that. It could cause release an evil or something archaic like that. You know how it is at this school.”  
  
“If it does, Harry Potter will defeat it,” she joked and Hermione rolled her eyes. “And not everything you do has to be an accomplishment. Just write it for fun. Write an article from a girl’s point of view about life as a guy. Find out why they’re so horny or why they do the things they do. Like I said different point of views.”  
  
“I really don’t know,” Hermione said. No matter how much she spun the angle, she couldn’t warm up to it.  
  
“Oh come on, Hermione. I know twenty girls who would read it. And that’s only from my year.”  
  
“…say I consider it,” She consented slowly, “But have you noticed I don’t look like a guy?”  
  
“Oh,” She looked Hermione up and down. “We’ll, have to fix that. Go get changed into your pajamas and come back.”

  
  
*  *  *

  
  
Lavender walked into the Gryffindor common room and spotted her two best friends sitting on some of the couches. Harry was quickly finishing his homework while Ron played solitary with a deck of cards.  
  
Lavender walked behind them and gently placed her hands on Harry’s eyes. She watched as his shoulders relaxed. “Guess who?” She asked.  
  
“Seamus,” Harry said.  
  
Lavender dropped her hands immediately and smacked Harry’s shoulder. “You think my hands look like Seamus’s?” She asked in mock hurt.  
  
“Hey, Lavender,” He said craning his neck to smile up at her.  
  
“What are you doing?” she asked as she leaned over his shoulder to look at his text books.  
  
“My homework for potions. Snape is having me write the specific reasons for each ingredient in ‘Guislah potion’. As if I’ve ever heard of it.”  
  
“Ew! Potions! And what are you doing, Ron?” She asked turning to her least favorite friend. Ron only grunted, clearly not listening.  
  
“Ron has been playing solitary. Poorly, mind you. He’s been staring at the cards for little over a half hour. I personally think he’s going over sex moves in his mind to prepare himself for his date tomorrow.”  
  
“Harry!” Lavender cried eyes wide at him, “You guys are completely barbaric.”  
  
Harry only shrugged, “So says the girl who wants to molest Michael Carmichael.”  
  
Lavender laughed lightly and winked at him.  
  
“Oh you know me,” She joked.  “And wealth could use a rebound.”  
  
Their conversation was only disturbed by Ron who grunted at his cards.  
  
“Ron…Ron!” Lavender cried as she glared at the redhead.  
  
“What!?” He yelled back equally as loud.  
  
“Are you even listening to us?” She asked.  
  
“No, you speak and the shrillness of your voice just pierced through one ear out the other,” He answered and flipped a card over before groaning. “I hate this game.”  
  
“You’re an idiot, you know that?” she said.  
  
"Bitter hag," he responded.  
  
Lavender moved and sat between the two boys on the couch. “I would love to see you experience how it feels to be in a girl's shoes every once in a while.”  
  
Ron made a face of disgust at her, “Is this a challenge?”  
  
“Yeah it is,” Lavender smiled smug at his horrified expression.  
  
“I think I’ll pass,” Ron sighed.  
  
“You know,” Harry said, “Lav’s right.”  
  
Ron stared at Harry with his mouth open. “Not you too? Please don’t tell me you’re going all girl power on me. Where’s your man pride?”  
  
“You have to admit, it would be pretty entertaining to see you going around as a girl and getting hit on. You know, see how the other half lives.”  
  
“I don't have to admit anything,” Ron said. He gathered his cards up and began to shuffle them.  
  
“No, Harry’s right, Ron. You should go under cover and keep a diary too and… and we could send it into the Hogwarts Daily and then everyone could read it.” Lavender squealed gathering attention from around the room while Ron groaned. Harry chuckled softly.  
  
“I’m not doing shit for Granger’s paper,” Ron said.  
  
“Oh let’s do this,” Lavender stood up ignoring Ron’s complaints. Harry on the other hand smiled at Ron and laughed at the other’s glare.  
  
“Go meet me up in your room and I’ll grab some clothes,” She commanded.  
  
“Aye-aye, captain,” Harry saluted then grabbed Ron’s hand and dragged him up to their dorm.  
  
"Et tu, Harry?"  


*  *  *  


Lavender entered the seventh year dorm just in time to see Hermione exit the bathroom wearing her pajamas. She glanced at Lavender just before quickly sneaking past her. Lavender smiled weakly at her back.  
  
She always felt awkward around Hermione especially with Ron always complaining about her, but she pushed the thoughts into the back of her head as she went towards her trunk and gathered some clothes and makeup.

  
  
*  *  *

  
  
Hermione reentered the sixth year dorm and saw Ginny going through her trunk. Hermione walked over and sat on the bed. Ginny looked up and smiled. She pulled out some cloths and tossed them onto her bed.  
  
“Okay,” she said, pulling Hermione and standing her next to the bed. She then raised a chest binder. “I just transfigured that. Put it under your shirt.”  
  
Hermione nodded and did as she was told letting out a long sigh. Ginny helped her adjust the binder and when it was adjusted properly she pulled her pajama shirt back in. Her chest now appeared flat and it was strange to her.  
  
“This is going to be so much fun,” Ginny giggled. Hermione let her arms fall casually at her sides as she warily watched Ginny. Ginny then held up a sock. It was stuffed with other socks and looking long and stiff like a…  
  
“Merlin! Is that a… well you know what?” Hermione yelled stepping back with a mix between disgust, horror, and wonder on her face.  
  
“It’s just a sock,” Ginny said as if it was the most obvious thing in the universe but her tone took a sudden change, “Stuffed with other socks.” She handed it to Hermione who took it reluctantly from her. "You can transform it into 'whatever' you want on your own."  
  
“What am I suppose to do now?” She asked unhappily looking at the socks.  
  
“Well,” Ginny raised her hand and made a motion of stuffing something inside of something, “Stick it in there.” She then pointed to Hermione’s pajama pants.  
  
“Ewww!” Hermione squealed, “That is so nasty. I’m not doing that.”  
  
“Oh come on no one will know,” She glared at Hermione.  
  
“Fine,” She said reluctantly. She took the sock and pulled her pants out. She stuffed the sock at the cross of her pants. “This feels so weird,” She said uncomfortably.  
  
Ginny was blushing now, “Now stick your hand down there and move some things around, you know? Get some air in there down. You don’t want to smell like you have crotch rot, do you?”  
  
“What are you two doing in here?” Germaine another Gryffindor Prefect asked as she opened the door.  
  
Hermione quickly turned around, her back to the door and pulled the sock out. She then turned back to Germaine and Ginny who were both staring at her like she was demented. She crossed her arms awkwardly trying to disguise her flat chest.  
  
“I’m turning into bed early,” She said. “Goodnight, Ginny, Germaine,” She said as she walked by.  
  
As Hermione closed the door behind her she heard Germaine begin questioning Ginny, and she quickly ran up to her dorm embarrassed.

  
  
*  *  *

  
  
Harry and Lavender both waited impatiently outside the seventh year boy’s bathroom for Ron to come out.  
  
As soon as Lavender returned from her dorm room she instantly started tossing skirts and dresses and one of the spare girl's uniform at Ron. After a few complaints and her testing skin tones on him, she finally shoved him into the bathroom and sat in front of the door refusing him exit as he tried to escape. After a while he relented and the sound of clothing removal was heard.  
  
Harry smiled as he waited for Ron to exit. He and Lavender both shared a look. She then stood up and moved on to Dean’s empty bed. Luckily for the trio, Seamus was on a date with Elaine Sterling, a fifth year Gryffindor, and Dean had taken Neville to the Library to study.  
  
 The two waited For Ron to come out. They waited, and waited, and waited, and waited.  
  
“Ron!” Lavender shouted. “Are you coming out?”  
  
“No!” He replied stubbornly.  
  
“Ron, open the door.” She walked over to it and began to jingle the handle.  
  
“Come on, Ron,” Harry called.  
  
“No,” was the muffled reply.  
  
“That’s it,” Lavender pulled out her wand and pointed it at the bathroom door. “Alohomora!” She called.  
  
“The lock on the door glowed before waning. She then grabbed the knob and swung it open. She grabbed Ron’s hand and pulled him out.  
  
Harry's jaw dropped.  
  
Ron was wearing a wig, which Harry had expertly transformed into red longhair from a night-shirt. He was also wearing a tank top with a with a jean jacket over it. Under his shirt was a padded bra meant to give him breasts (also of which Harry had also transfigured from one of Dean’s dirty boxers, but Ron didn’t need to know that). His eyes and lips were lined with Lavender’s makeup, which she had expertly applied to him.  
  
Lavender stared, too and as Ron entered fully into their view Harry had to admit that Ron made the ugliest girl he had ever seen. His big nose and tall figure made his shoulders look too wide when in a skirt and blouse.  
  
Ron started to walk over to Harry and as he did that Harry broke out laughing. “What?” Ron asked agitated.  
  
Harry smiled. “What was that?” He asked referring to his walk, “It was horrible!”  
  
“Hey, you think this looks so easy, why don’t you try it,” Snapped Ron.  
  
“Fine,” Harry stood up and walked next to Ron. He looked over at Lavender who smiled encouragingly. “Girls are more graceful. They don’t stomp like you do.” Harry said, “You looked like you had a hip problem.” Harry then walked over to the bathroom and back to his bed very gracefully, the complete opposite of Ron.  
  
Ron and Lavender shared a glance with each other than smiled evilly at Harry.  
  
“What?” Harry asked.  
  
“Harry, my dear boy,” Lavender cooed. “It appears our plans have changed.”


	3. First Impressions

The next morning, Hermione met Ginny outside her dorm room. She greeted her friend awkwardly, especially after the previous night. She was a bit agitated that Ginny could behave so normally, using a casual smile as a greeting. Then again, it wasn’t Ginny who was going undercover as a boy.  
  
Hermione had thought about their plan all last night. She had fled the room still wearing the chest binder and even though she removed it immediately in her own dorm, the assignment still haunted her. It was only when she was collecting her textbooks this morning that it hit her: The answer to her prayers. It was so obvious that she was embarrassed that she hadn’t the mind to mention it last night when Ginny was trying her best to torture her with socks.  
  
Hermione shuffled her books from one arm to the other as Ginny hesitated, adjusting her hair.  The books were heavy in her arms but that might've been the nerves. It was now that a solution was available did she realize she was actually going to go undercover and as a boy no less. It was a surreal thought to consider that for a short period of time she would become someone else entirely and, in a strange way, it fascinated her. This was a chance to not be Hermione Granger. Ginny might have been joking when she said it, but it was her chance to be someone cool: Someone people liked.  
  
Ginny finally finished her last minute ministrations to her appearance while Hermione contemplated what her immediate future would be like and bounced out of the dorm.  
  
"Are you coming?" Ginny cried back.  
  
Hermione blinked and realized that Ginny had gone.  
  
"Oh, wait up," she followed after her.  
  
"Hermione, you're walking too slowly," Ginny reached for Hermione's wrist regardless of the books she carried and tried to tug her along.  
  
“Wait,” Hermione said when Ginny pulled her out of the common room. She nearly dropped everything in the haste her friend was moving.  
  
“What?” Ginny moaned. “I’m hungry, let’s go—”  
  
“Ginny, just wait a moment,” Hermione said and readjusted her books. She glared at Ginny who clearly didn't care that she had almost caused her to drop everything. Ginny crossed her arms and gave Hermione an exasperated look.  
  
“Alright, what’s got your knickers in a bunch?” Ginny asked annoyed.  
  
Hermione moved to the side of the corridor away from other students and Ginny followed. “I think I know how to pull that undercover scheme off,” She said.  
  
“Oh you do?” Ginny cried. She looked around and lowered her head to whisper, “How?”  
  
“Professor McGonagall,” Hermione answered.  
  
“Okay?” Ginny said slowly. No doubt she was confused. “You want McGonagall to be our 'inside man'?”  
  
Hermione shook her head, remembering that Ginny was not in her year and therefore had not seen Professor McGonagall transform into a male version of herself. She lowered her voice even more though there were few students around them and began to explain: “McGonagall taught us a spell that can make you look like the opposite sex. I’ll have her teach me the spell and then I can put it on anytime I want to.”  
  
“That sounds...really convenient. Perfect even,” Ginny said.  
  
Hermione's blushed. "I was a bit overwhelmed last night and hadn't even considered it."  
  
"You're pulling my leg," Ginny said. "How do you forget a spell like that?"  
  
"It's not often I consider becoming a boy. Excuse me for being a bit slow," Hermione's snapped. "But I remember it now."  
  
 “But wouldn’t she be confused when you ask about that spell?”  
  
Hermione shrugged, “She'll need to know why I want to do this. I actually should talk to her about this right now. See if I'll even be allowed to do this project. I'll see you at lunch.”  
  
Ginny watched her friend walk off towards Professor McGonagall’s office before running down to the Great Hall. She silently wished Hermione good luck. She was sure Hermione would make an awkward boy, another Michael Carmichael.  


*  *  *

  
  
Hermione walked down the familiar hallway where the transfiguration teacher’s office was located. She stopped outside the door and prayed McGonagall was already there.  
  
She looked around to see if anyone was watching her before slipping into the room. She was beginning to feel like a spy with all her paranoia and sneaking about. Of course no one was paying attention to her and if they were, they would write it off as another of Hermione’s quarks. She gave a sigh of relief to see the older woman sitting behind her desk.  
  
“Ahhh, Miss Granger,” McGonagall greeted. “What may I do for you, especially before breakfast?” She asked pleasantly. Her voice was light and dreamy and she had a sparkle in her eyes that Hermione had most certainly never seen there before and reminded her of the headmaster. She wondered briefly if Dumbledore had found out about her plans and decided to play a joke on her by disguising himself as McGonagall.    
  
She shook her to get rid of the ridiculous idea, but now that the seed was planted…She gave the woman the side eye.  
  
McGonagall shuffled the papers (most were letters) that she had been previously sorting through and stored them in a drawer.  
  
“Miss Granger, I am sure there is a reason you came here other than to stare at me,” The woman gave a smile that certainly creeped Hermione out. What was going on with McGonagall? She never looks this happy?  
  
“Good morning, Professor,” She greeted remembering her reason for being here. “I don’t mean to bother but a friend gave me an idea for an article that might, well…it will certainly gather attention.” Hermione said slowly.  
  
“Well?” McGonagall said.  
  
“I was thinking I could take time off the paper to go under cover as a well,” She stuttered, “A male student.”  
  
“Hmm,” McGonagall did look surprised but answered quite calmly considering the wildness of the idea, “That certainly would catch a lot of attention.”  
  
“I know!” Hermione said bolstered by McGonagall’s response. “Ginny said I could discover the male mind and write about it. I can reintroduce the paper in a big way once I have my story.”  
  
“Miss Weasley’s idea, I should have guessed, and you want me to teach you the ‘Sunor Ot Celfer’ spell,” She said stating the obvious.  
  
Hermione nodded. “Yes, that would be most useful.”  
  
McGonagall took off her square glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose, “When do you wish to get started on your ‘project’?” she asked.  
  
“Oh,” Hermione looked thoughtful having not given much thought to the timetable. “I guess as soon as possible,” She said.  
  
“Would you like me to place it on you or teach you how?” she asked.  
  
Hermione answered without hesitation, “Teach me how.” She'd like to be able to control of the spell. To be stuck as a boy because she didn't know how to undo it she imagined would be quite upsetting.  
  
McGonagall nodded then stood up, “Come to my classroom every night after dinner and we shall practice.” She walked over to the door and opened it. “Now off to breakfast.”  
  
Hermione nodded. McGonagall was quite accommodating if what must've seemed like an insane request. There were a lot of logistics to be worked out but it seemed her professor wanted her to leave so she didn't push it. It was still surreal that this was actually happening. She thanked her professor one last time before leaving.  
  
McGonagall gave a sigh as the door closed behind her star pupil. While Hermione's request was more bizarre than what McGonagall had thought she would come up with, it was certainly ambitious. Hermione planned to figure out gender? Many philosophers were still debating that one, but still Hermione's experiences and thoughts at the end of her little project would be quite an interesting read. At some point she should make the headmaster aware of Hermione's endeavor and she was sure he wouldn't stop it from happening but actually encourage it. So Hermione had two allies in her corner. She compartmentalized those thoughts lest they distract her the entire day and brought out the letters she had hidden hastily.  
  
Written in curly red words were, ‘To my Dearest Minerva.’ This love affair was certainly not one she was prepared to share with the world and in her more lucid moments she contemplated why she even encouraged their relationship to slowly grow into something that was dangerously teetering into the abyss of irresponsibility as well as opening the floodgates to question her character. He was too young...she could hear the words now. She shoved the letters back into her desk. It would be too dangerous and unprofessional if anyone found out about their love.  


*  *  *

  
  
Ron woke up to Lavender standing at the end of the bed with the curtains drawn wide open. She was staring down at him with a wide smile plastered to her face.  
  
“Good morning, sleepy head,” She sang in a loud shrill voice.  
  
Ron, now fully awake, punched his pillow in and groaned. “Lavender, go away,” He mumbled.  
  
Lavender smiled and tugged at his blankets but Ron grabbed a firm grip on it. “Harry!” She yelled. “Get over here and help.”  
  
A moment later a shirtless Harry appeared in his range of vision but crossed his arms and glared at her Lavender.  
  
"I'm not helping you to speed up my impending doom," he said.  
  
"Stop being melodramatic," she said and tugged off the comforter off of Ron.  
  
"Hey!" He snapped unhappy.  
  
Ron now laid on a bare bed in a wooly, maroon sweater and short, flannel pajama pants that revealed too much of his hairy ankles than what anyone wanted to see. He sat up and looked around. Apparently Seamus and Dean were given the same wake up call as they were up and looking unhappy. Neville was nowhere in sight but he had always been an early riser.  
  
“Get dressed and get out,” Lavender commanded. She walked over to Harry who was shooting Ron pleading looks and dragged him into the bathroom.  
  
Ron let out a moan, “Merlin, that woman is crazy.”  
  
“I know man,” Seamus said walking over to stand next to Ron’s bed, “She took my sheets away too and I sleep in the nude."  
  
Ron made a face at Seamus. “Too much information, but I just really need to go to the bathroom.”  
  
Ron got ready and left with Dean and Seamus. He knew Lavender must have been doing Harry’s makeover, which she and he had forcefully pushed onto Harry. Personally, he felt that Harry deserved what he got. Ron may not have wanted to be a girl, but darn it, it still hurt when Harry told him he made an ugly one. But still, Ron was a loyal friend so he decided he would hold off his peeing until he found a different bathroom instead of barging into the dorm bathroom where Lavender was most likely tormenting him with a makeup brush.

  
  
*  *  *

  
As Ron and his roommates entered the Great Hall, they found Neville sitting with Ginny and Hermione. Ron let out a loud groan as Seamus and Dean moved to sit with them, and, Ron, not wanting to be alone, followed.  
  
Neville was in a storm of stuttering as he uttered compliments and flirty remarks at Ginny. On any other occasion, Ron probably would enter big brother mode but seeing as Ginny could put Neville in a headlock if he tried anything inappropriate, he wasn’t that worried about her.  
  
Because of the merging of the two groups, tensions were high between Ron and Hermione. Breakfast wasn’t even halfway over when Ron left the Great Hall, which was a great achievement seeing as Ron had never, no matter what, under any circumstances ever left breakfast early.  


*  *  *

  
Harry stepped out of the bathroom. He was wearing a spare female uniform and the bra that had been dirty boxers in a previous life.  
Nothing she had done could mask his height and muscles and he didn’t think he looked anything like an attractive young girl. Lavender insisted once she finished his hair and make up, it would all come together but Harry didn't have much confidence. Today was sure to be the most humiliating day of his life.  
  
Lavender transfigured Ron’s wig from the previous night to a black color and lengthened it till it reached passed his shoulders and then attacked him with a pair of scissors, layering the wig so it framed his face.  
  
She then started to apply make up, first attacking his scar. A heavy amount of concealer and maybe a notice me not spell would do the trick. Glamours were beyond either skill; Lavender really wished she hadn't fallen asleep during that lesson. She tried a light lip gloss on him and commanded he pucker his lips.  
  
"Lip gloss is gross," he complained.  
  
"Shut up, it looks good," she said. "Makeup can only make you look girlier."  
  
"Are people supposed to recognize me?" He asked. "There's noway they won't know who I am?"  
  
Lavender bit her lip. The experience wouldn't matter if harry wasn't a believable girl. He looked better than Ron though that wasn't difficult. Still, you couldn't mistake him for a girl.  
  
"We'll just give it a day, if you're found out... Just say you lost a bet to me," she explained.  
  
He frowned but let her help him gather his books. Outside the dorm room, Ron was waiting for them and upon seeing Harry, he burst out laughing.  
  
"Aren't you pretty!"  
  
Since breakfast wasn’t completely finished the trio went down to their first class, transfiguration, early and were the only students there.  
  
Harry was so nervous, he felt like he was about to throw up. The impending ridicule he was about to experience was making him dizzy and he was sure he would pass out at some point.  
  
Lavender tried to share tips on how to keep his makeup from smudging but her words went in one ear and out the other. After a little bit, Professor McGonagall opened the door to the classroom.  
  
“Good Morning, Miss Brown, Mister Weasley, Mister Potter—” She stopped and stared at Harry. She stared long and hard and Harry started to squirm. “It's too early in the morning for this…” She said. She turned to leave before looking back at Harry. “I’m not here to judge.”  
  
Harry flushed horribly and shrugged his shoulders. “It’s for a project, Professor,” he said.  
  
McGonagall only raised an eyebrow and nodded disbelievingly. “You don’t have to explain to me. Like I said, I’m not here to judge.”  
  
“No really,” He said. His teacher thought he was a cross dresser. His manhood was shot and buried.  
  
“What for, then?” she asked.  
  
“It was my idea, Professor,” Lavender cut in. “I…er, wanted one of them to go under cover as a girl and keep a diary of it… as a learning experience. I guess it isn’t going to work.”  
  
“Well,” McGonagall tilted her head to the side. “I suppose Potter could pass for a girl.”  
  
Harry wanted to sink into the floor. It didn't help that Ron was failing to contain his laughter at the conversation.  
  
“Thanks, Professor,” he said sarcastically. Forget shot and buried, his manhood was being tortured by some short horny man wearing a loin cloth and holding a trident.    
  
McGonagall gave Harry a pitying look. “Oh, alright,” She said to herself. “Potter, come with me, now.” She walked back into her classroom and the trio followed her in.  
  
"I have to wonder if there's something in the water," she muttered. Clearly her students were obviously into more drastic ways of exploring themselves and their identities. McGonagall briefly made plans to talk to Dumbledore about creating a sex education class that could possibly steer the students into more conventional ways of self-exploration.  
  
"Sorry, Professor?" Lavender asked confused.  
  
She shook her head. "Never you mind. If you are serious about going through with this little plan of yours, there are more definite ways of becoming a girl, unless the clothes are the whole point?"  
  
"Merlin no," Harry frowned. "I feel like a fool and everyone will recognize me."  
  
"Professor, are you suggesting that spell from the other day? The reflection one?" Lavender asked.  
  
"Are you saying we can really turn Harry into a girl?" Ron asked.  
  
"Is that even allowed?" Lavender asked amazed. "This is wonderful if it is!"  
  
"I'd like to talk to Mister Potter alone unless you two are volunteering in his place?"  
  
"Hell no!" Ron cried and left the classroom. Lavender eagerly chased after him, her parting words: "Don't back out, Potter!"  
  
When the two of them were alone, Harry sighed.  
  
"Mister Potter, I'm willing to aid you in a full transformation if you wish to continue but hopefully the decision is yours and not that if your friends," she said.  
  
Harry would've liked to imagine he had a choice but either way he was walking out of this classroom in a dress. Lavender clearly intended to see this through but at the moment his transfiguration teacher was willing to help him. If he allowed her, no one would recognize him. He nodded.  
  
"Alright, Mister Potter. The spell I will place on you is slightly different from the one I showed in class and that is because I am a second party casting the spell. To transform back, the spell I taught will suffice or you can always come to me and I will remove it." She pulled out her wand and said, “Tonera uoytahw tubera ouyohw toneraouy.”  
   
Harry felt a tingling sensation spark in his abdomen and then travel up his chest. It felt like every tiny hair on his skin was standing on end. He felt his bones change shape and a strange sensation down in his private area. When the feeling ended he looked around himself as best as he could and immediately noticed he was shorter and smaller, but not by much, though the lack of height had a pronounce affect on his perspective.  
  
He looked up at McGonagall and she held out her wand and cast a spell on the wall behind him. Harry wheeled around and saw the wall transform into a mirror. He stared into his reflection and let out a gasp. He took the wig he had been wearing off and reached his hand behind his back to adjust the bra to better fit the actual breasts he now had. The clothes he was wearing, although feminine, were now too loose on his shoulders.  
  
He was skinny and had and average sized chest. His muscles he gained from playing quidditch were well toned and played nicely with his new feminine form. He had curves. His face, he could still see himself but his features were softer and smaller. He thought he actually looked like a cute girl. And his hair had not grown by much. Slightly longer than how he kept it as a boy but shorter than a lot of the girls at school kept it.  
  
This was probably the weirdest experience ever had.  
  
“Wow!” Harry whispered. He took off his glasses and made a show of cleaning them on the hem of his sweater before placing them back on his nose.  
  
“Mm-hmm,” McGonagall nodded, “Now how are you going to explain yourself to the school?” She asked.  
  
Harry’s head snapped to her. “I didn’t even think of that,” He said. “Oh Merlin! They’ll know!”  
  
She looked thoughtful; “Well, Let us go tell Professor Dumbledore. I need to see him anyway, and we’ll figure a plan out. Come along.”  
  
She led Harry out of the office and past Ron and Lavender who were waiting outside the door. Harry blushed at Ron’s expression. His jaw had dropped when he caught sight of Harry and his eyes held a lust Harry hoped to never see directed at him from his friend ever again. Even Lavender appears quite speechless.  
      
A few people stared at him as they walked to Dumbledore’s office. Harry feared that they would immediately know and he couldn't stop his face from flushing.  
  
They reached the statue that blocked the Headmasters entrance. McGonagall said the password: “Raspberry drops,” and they watched as it jumped out of the way. They than climbed up the moving staircase to the office and knocked on the door.  
  
 The Headmaster called them in. He sat behind his desk smiling pleasantly at the two. He gestured his hand out towards the cushioned chairs in front of him before folding them back in front of him.  
  
“Professor McGonagall and...Who do we have here?” He greeted still smiling.  
  
Harry looked at his Professor before turning to look at his headmaster. “This, sir, is Harry Potter,” Said McGonagall.  
  
Dumbledore instantly sent an intense look at Harry who shivered under his gaze.  
  
“Hmmmm,” he said slowly, “I see. May I ask how this came to be?”  
  
“His friends and he decided he would go under cover as a girl and keep a diary of the events to follow this...transformation,” Said Professor McGonagall.  
  
“We were going to send the entries in to the school paper,” Harry said, “As soon as we’re done.”  
  
McGonagall looked at him, “Really?” she asked. Harry nodded. “Headmaster,” She said to Dumbledore. “May I talk to you in private?” she asked.  
  
“Of course. Harry, would you mind waiting outside?”  
  
Harry shook his head.  
  
As he left the room McGonagall walked to Dumbledore’s side. “Miss Granger came to me just before him with the same request.” She said. “She wanted to learn the ‘Sunor Ot Celfer’ spell so she could learn to perform it on herself. She too was going to write about it in the newspaper. I agreed to teach her and help her see it through. It now appears that Mister Potter had similar plans."  
  
"You agreed, Minerva?" He asked fondly. "I seem to be a bad influence."  
  
McGonagall simply shook her head. "I couldn't say no to Miss Granger. I knew she would be responsible and I believed her results would be quite interesting."  
  
"I would say, mister potter's results would've just as well," Dumbledore agreed.  
  
"So we should continue with this farce?" She asked.  
  
"Oh of course," he encouraged. "In fact I think they both will learn a lot from it. We shall keep their identities a secret, even from each other. We'll create new identities. They’ll be exchange students from two different schools. We’ll say they switched with Harry and Hermione.”  
  
McGonagall nodded, “Should we tell the staff?”  
  
The old man shook his head. “No, they too might reveal something. Let’s allow Harry back in.”  
  
McGonagall went to the door where she found the Harry sitting on the ground with his knees together and his ill-fitting skirt covering them perfectly. “You can come back in,” She said.  
  
Harry stood up with awkwardness before following his professor into his room and sat back down in the same chair as earlier.  
  
“We will be having an exchange student arriving later in the week,” Professor McGonagall lied. “He is coming in from… Beauxbatons. He and Miss Granger will be switching for a couple of months. We don’t see the harm in letting you pretend to be another exchange student from Durmstrang.”  
  
“Does that work out, Harry?” The Headmaster asked kindly.  
  
Harry nodded. “But don’t call me Harry,” He said. “I need a new name…”  
  
“Right,” the two adults agreed.  
  
Harry seemed to cycle through names internally so the teachers began to suggest some so the three of them could get a sense of what it would sound like.  
  
“How about Carmen? Kate? Cathy? Julie? Lisa—” Were just a few of the names.  
  
“No? Well how about Harriet?”  
  
Harry shook his head, vigorously.  
  
“Definitely not,” He said. “That will remind them of Harry then they’ll start to connect the dots. We should steer clear of the H’s.” He looked thoughtful. “Do I look like a Carmen?” He asked curiously.  
  
The two adults smiled at his curiosity and shrugged. “It’s your new name. It can be anything you want,” McGonagall encouraged.  
  
“You thought of this before haven’t you?” Dumbledore asked, his eyes twinkling. Students these days.  
  
Harry blushed and nodded his head meekly. “Evie.” He said raising his head and looking at them, a blush still faint on his face. "Evie Evans."  
  
“Evie’s a beautiful name,” McGonagall said. Harry smiled at her gratefully and she stood up and led him to the door. McGonagall turned her head back to the headmaster. ‘Evie?’ She mouthed with an amused expression on her face. The headmaster chuckled before following her out. Yes, it was fitting.  
  
The trio walked down the halls to the Great Hall. Along the way Harry saw Ron and Lavender hanging around in the entrance. Once they saw Harry, they trailed behind, weary of the adults. As they entered the Great Hall, Harry and the two professors walked towards the front of the room. Students began to notice them, some pointing at Harry in confusion. He shuddered and stood now before the Great Hall. He also noticed, to his disgust, a few younger years whistling his way.  
  
“Attention everyone,” Dumbledore said, “This year we are having an exchange program. Mister Potter and Miss Granger will be exchanged with two students from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang. Mister Potter has already left and Miss Granger will be leaving shortly.”  
  
Hermione stared at the Headmaster in confusion. She never agreed to be part of an exchange program. She looked over at Ginny who only shrugged.  
  
“Early and in replace of Mister Potter is Evie Evans who has joined us all the way from Durmstrang. She has been sorted into Gryffindor and I hope that all you students give her a warm Hogwarts welcome.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to ‘Chick Like Me’, the Boy Meets World episode. McGonagall’s reaction to Harry in women’s clothing was inspired by Mr. Feeny.


	4. Bitter Thoughts

Harry sat down next to Ron and across from Lavender after Dumbledore’s announcement. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and tried to adjust his skirt which awkwardly hung on him. Everything was uncomfortable and he was not just talking about the clothes. He didn't know how to respond to the attention he received and even his friends were looking at him like a stranger. Everything was all the worse because he wasn't familiar with his new body and moving around was quite strange.  
  
“Something wrong?” Lavender asked. Neither friend could seem to take their eyes off of him.  
  
“My clothes are too big.” Harry said. He ran a hand through his hair and couldn't look them in the eyes.  
  
“We'll have to resize them for you. I might know a charm,” She smiled. “So ‘Evie’ huh?” She asked, “What made you think of that name?”  
  
“I don’t know. I guess I like the name,” Harry said defensively. Lavender smiled and raised her eyebrows up at Ron.  
  
“You guys are the worst. Do you know that?” Harry said. Of course they would do this. They would make fun of him even though they forced him into this situation in the first place.  
  
"No one will stop looking at me," he grumbled.   
  
"You're the beautiful new girl," Lavender said.  
  
"I can't believe this worked," Ron said. "Better you than me though."  
  
"Yeah, it would've been hard to ogle yourself," Lavender joked. Ron threw a bit of egg on her.  
  
"Shut up, Lavender," he snapped.  
  
Harry stared down at his food, his hand squeezing his utensils. He was fighting the urge to run his hands down his body. He still couldn't get use to the changes. He distracted himself with eating breakfast.  
  
When they left to go to class, Harry a mini had a panic attack when he realized his books were not with him.   
  
"They're probably still in McGonagall's classroom," Lavender said and flinched as if caught committing a crime. "Wow, you’re really jumpy after all this."  
  
"It’s the hormones," Ron said.  
  
"I want to hit you," Lavender sighed.  
  
Harry forged ahead of them, not in the mood for their bickering.  
  
"Hey, wait up," Ron cried. “So I talked to Parvati while—” Ron started.  
  
“Padma!” Lavender and Harry said in unison. Lavender gave Harry a look with big brown eyes and he instantly went quiet. That’s right. How would ‘Evie’ know who Padma was?  
  
Not only had he become a girl and would have to deal with adjusting to a new body, but now he would have to monitor his behavior constantly to make sure he didn't reveal too much knowledge about people he supposedly had never met before.  
  
“Padma, Ron,” Lavender corrected softly after Harry let his new reality sink in. “Honestly, If you can’t get the name right, why are you even going out with her?”  
  
“Because I like her,” he said glaring at Lavender. “Anyway, I ran into her while you were in headmaster's office and she’s still on for tonight. Hey, Harry—”  
  
“You guys got to start calling me Evie now or people will realize what is going on,” Harry said in a soft, low whisper. "Remember, I don't want anyone to know."  
  
“Right, Right, Right,” Ron said. “Evie, how does it feel to be a real woman?” he asked.  
  
Harry adjusted his books in his arms and sighed. “Hard to say. This is a lot to adjust to. My body is uncomfortable and awkward. People won’t stop looking at me either, and my underwear is giving me a bit of wedgy…”  
  
“Duh, Har-Evie! People are staring because you’re fit! Except for the underwear bit. That’s kinda weird,” Ron said, and then his face lit up in sudden excitement, “Can I carry your books?”  
  
Harry looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “You’re offering?”   
  
Ron nodded.   
  
“Then yeah, alright, sure.” he dumped his books on top of Ron’s. “That was really nice of you to offer, Ron.”   
  
Lavender glared at Ron. “How come you never carry my books? I mean I am a ‘real’ girl.”  
  
“Yeah I know but—but look at him!”   
  
Harry blushed and grabbed his books back. “Never mind.”  
  
Lavender smacked Ron’s shoulder before entering the classroom ("Stop hitting on him."). Lavender cut through the room and sat in the trio’s usual spot. Ron, being slower, followed while Harry lagged behind him.  
  
McGonagall smiled as they sat down. “I’ll start the class off by introducing purest newest student from Durmstrang, Evie Evans,” She said. “Evie, will you please stand up.”  
  
Harry stared at McGonagall in shock that she was putting him in the spot. “What?” he asked stupidly.  
  
“Would you please stand up,” She repeated. “And introduce yourself.”   
  
Harry glanced around and awkwardly up. “Um, my name is Evie Evans and you all know I came from Durmstrang. I’m 17, I like quidditch and er well that’s, uh…it.” he finished, lamely. He felt stupid for not having much to say. Who was Evie Evans? Harry didn't know yet. A quick glance around the classroom, told him that his peers thought he was pretty stupid too.  
  
“Thank you, Miss Evans,” The professor said. “You can take your seat.”   
  
Harry nodded and eagerly sat down.

  
*  *  *

  
Hermione stared as the new girl moved uncomfortably from class to class. She apparently became good friends with Ron and Lavender at some point as they were now laughing at something Ron just said.  
  
She snorted. The only reason Ron was being nice because he was desperate to get in her pants, that Hermione was sure. ‘He’s such a cad,’ she thought bitterly. She was so caught up in her thoughts she didn’t even notice Neville who had been trying to get her attention.  
  
"Hermione?"   
  
“And her! I mean what is it about her?” she mumbled. Ron, who was her best friend’s brother, couldn’t even look at her without laughing or deriding her and Lavender, her dorm mate, couldn’t even be bothered to befriend her…but this new girl?  
  
“Hermione—” Neville said.  
  
“I mean does she notice the looks Ron, nay, all the boys are giving her—”  
  
“I’m a boy and I’m not—”  
  
“I bet she does. Look at her thinking she’s all that. Look at her. Do you notice she touches her body a lot—”  
  
“What?” Neville asked surprised.  
  
“I mean look at her.” Neville took a glance if only just to please her.  
  
“I looked. Happy? Now will you listen to me?” he asked annoyed. Hermione looked over at Neville and blushed.  
  
“Sorry,” she mumbled.  
  
Neville nodded. “It’s alright,” He paused. “Why do you care so much about how guys react to her?”  
  
“I don't care! Why do you think I care?”  
  
Neville just raised an eyebrow at her and then suddenly the puzzled face expression broke with a realization. Suddenly he went from confused to amused. “Oh I see. I suppose it’s only fair,” He said with a teasing smile.  
  
“Hm?” She asked. "What's fair?"  
  
“That you’re not smart in everything,” He said teasingly but Hermione sputtered all the same. “I have to admit it’s quite the relief to see you be a bit stupid right now; being so jealous.” Neville said. “Now I know you’re human.”  
  
"I am not jealous," she said. "I'm not."

Neville just snorted.

"It’s just…she’s new and already everyone already loves her. Meanwhile, I’m the butt of the joke all the time.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it. You know what?” He said smiling. “Guys only like her because she’s new. You know? Like cows. Bulls don’t like going back to the same ‘old’ cow every night. They just won’t. They want ‘new’ cow, and Evie is that.” (1)   
  
Hermione raised an eyebrow. “Neville, that made no sense what-so-ever. And did you just call Evie and me a cow?”  
  
“Okay, forget that. Bad example… but you know they’ll calm down. She’s just a normal girl like every other girl in the school. And with that short hair and how athletic she looks, she can hardly be considered Ron’s type. You know he has a hair kink. Likes to run his hands through a girl’s hair. Won't shut up about it sometimes.”  
  
“Er...no, I didn't know that." She glanced back over at Evie and sighed. "I guess she isn’t considered a ‘cow’ like the rest of us, huh?” Neville blushed and ducked his head.  
  
“Forget about the cow-thing,” He said.  
  
"She really is pretty. It's not surprising the boys like her," she said. "And with those glasses, she's avant-garde."  
  
"What?"  
  
"It’s a French thing,” Hermione said.  
  
“But she’s not French. She’s Bulgarian,” He said daftly.  
  
“Actually, you know what?” Hermione asked thoughtfully. “I don’t even think she’s Bulgarian. She has no accent and “Evie Evans’ is an English name.”  
  
“I guess,” Neville shrugged. "But she has no reason to lie and Dumbledore introduced her as such."   
  
"But he's known to be tricksy," she said.  
  
"Now you sound crazy," he shrugged. "And obsessed. Just don't think about her and all will be fine." He couldn’t understand why Hermione had such an animosity towards the other girl. Evie seemed nice from what he saw if not a little shy but she had a great figure hidden under that baggy uniform. He just really couldn’t see why Hermione didn’t like her, especially since her glasses gave her a librarian look, a sexy librarian. Neville shook his head. He would not succumb to old cow syndrome.  
  
He looked over at Hermione who sent a bitter glare at the trio. Evie did seem close to Ron. He had held her books before class after all. Wait a minute. Now it all made sense.  
  
“Hermione,” He said, “Do you like Ron?”  
  
Her head snapped up to his fast, and she stared at him shocked. “No of course not,” she said still shocked, “What makes you ask that?”  
  
“Well… Evie hasn’t done anything evil to you or anyone for that matter. The only thing she’s done is hang around Lavender and 'Ron',” He hinted.  
  
Hermione scowled at him. “I do not like Ron. He’s been nothing but the bane of my existence.” She growled. “I hate Ronald Weasley.”  
  
‘Maybe she’s jealous over Lavender,’ Neville thought instead.

  
  
*  *  *

  
Ron rushed to dinner where he saw Lavender and Harry sitting near the end of the table. Ron was about to move their way when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around and found Padma Patil standing there with a glare on her face.  
  
“Ron we need to talk,” She snapped.  
  
“Sure thing Padme—”  
  
“Padma!” She shouted. She led him towards the outside of the Great Hall. “You are such an arsehole.”  
  
“What? What did I do?”  
  
“For starters, you can't even remember my name. And second, you and that ditz-faced, new girl,” She yelled, her face was red with embarrassment. “You were carrying her books like you didn’t think I would notice!”  
  
“We’re friends!” he defended.  
  
“You just met her,” Padma said. “You’re friends with Lavender and Harry. How come you never carry any of their books?”  
  
“Harry’s a guy and Lavender, well it’s just Lavender,” He replied.  
  
“It’s just Lavender?” She repeated. “What? She doesn’t deserve to have her books carried for her?”  
  
“Why are you getting huffy about that?” Ron asked confused and annoyed. “You're mad at me for carrying Evie’s books and now you’re mad that I don’t carry Lavender’s? Lavender is subhuman, that’s why I don’t carry her books.”  
  
“Ugh!” She cried angrily, “Just face it. You’re attracted to the new girl—”  
  
“Evie?”  
  
“Yes, her!” Padma shouted. “You like her, but why? She’s not that cute and her boobs are tiny!”  
  
“You’re only saying that because you’re cow!” He couldn’t believe he had said that. He knew she wasn’t fat but her bad-mouthing his best friend had pissed him off. He had to defend Harry, especially now that he was a cute girl and needed his honor defended…  
  
Padma stared at him for a moment and her eyes were blank. She suddenly snapped her eyes down to her body and began to straighten out her uniform. She then turned cold brown eyes on to Ron. “We’re over. I can’t believe I even agreed to go on a date with you. Even after Parvati warned me about your reputation.”  
  
“My reputation?” He asked.  
  
“That you make all sorts of promises just to get a girl in bed with you,” She answered. She stared at him and her eyes began to water. She blinked after a moment to stop the tears forming before turning around and walking away. As she walked away Ron noticed her shoulders were hunched and she was holding her hands in front of her. When she was gone Ron turned away, feeling awful, and joined his friends silently at dinner.  
  
“What was that about, Ron?” Lavender asked as Ron sat down. He ignored her and began to shovel piles of food mechanically onto his plate. “Ron?” She asked again. “Are you alright?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1: I got the new cow syndrome from a Hugh Jackman movie, Someone Like You. Not sure if I said it right.


	5. The Lesson and the Couple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New Chapter...

After dinner was finished and the students were returning to their common rooms, Hermione quickly broke off and made her way down the familiar hallway where her teacher's office was. She reached the room and knocked quickly.  
  
Professor McGonagall was already waiting for her. She pointed to the seat in front of her without a word and Hermione eagerly sat down. McGonagall moved and stood in front of her.  
  
"Evening, Miss Granger," She said. "Let's begin. Wand out!" Hermione did as she was told. "Point it at yourself." McGonagall demonstrated the wand gesture. "And say 'Tonma Itahw tubma Iohw Tonmai', and mean it." McGonagall then performed the spell.  
  
Once again, the male version of her teacher stood before her. It was just as strange as it was earlier when her teacher performed the spell the first time. It was also nerve-wracking. What if, when Hermione changed back, she was stuck with hormones from both sexes? What if she grew a beard and it never went away? She shuddered and looked back at her professor.  
  
"Well?" McGonagall asked, impatient with Hermione's dawdling.  
  
Hermione shuddered again and nodded. She re-positioned her wand and recited the complicated chant. She felt a tingly sensation run through her face. It was a familiar feeling of magic but was also reminiscent of a flushed face from when she was either embarrassed or coming down from an adrenaline rush. She closed her eyes and waited for the feeling to pass.   
  
"Ahem," McGonagall coughed.  
  
Hermione opened her eyes. McGonagall was smiling at her and her hands were clasped together.  
  
"15 points to Gryffindor!" She cried.  
  
"I did it?" Hermione asked. What did she look like?  
  
"Not quite, but very close," Her teacher said. "None of my students have ever come as close as you have eon their first try."  
  
Hermione smiled. "What did I change?" She asked.  
  
"Just your face," She answered. Hermione wanted to see a mirror but before she could open her mouth and ask for one, McGonagall charmed a quill into mirror. She passed it onto Hermione who eagerly took in her reflection. Her thick curly hair still fell down her shoulders, but her face was changed. She looked so different and yet so very much the same.   
  
After a few moments of Letting Hermione admire herself, McGonagall reversed the spells affects and told her to do it again.   
  


* * *

  
Ginny was sitting in the common room on one of the squishy chairs, facing the fire. In the chair next to her she had her schoolbooks piled up and a half written scroll for potions.   
  
She heard talking behind her and twisted her head around the chairs back to see her brother talking to the new girl. They were whispering but because she was close enough she could hear parts of their conversation.  
  
“—Date tonight?” Evie said. She learned closer to Ron and asked very quietly, “When?”   
  
“During Dinner,” Ron answered. He was turned away from her, so Ginny couldn’t read his face, but his voice sounded funny.  
  
Now Ginny was confused. Was he asking Evie out? Didn’t he just ask Padma out? “Face it, Ginny, Ron’s an asshole,” She mumbled to herself.  
  
“Well, if it makes you feel better, if I was—” Evie went low and mouthed the rest of her sentence out so Ginny couldn’t hear. “—With you.”   
  
“Ewwwwwwww!” Ron called but he was smiling all the same, “It does kind of make me feel better but disturbed all the same…Actually, now that I think about it, how about you—Me, tonight, I can make all your dre—”  
  
“No, Ron,” Evie said and abruptly turned away.  
  
They stopped talking and continued with their homework leaving an eavesdropping Ginny to be very confused. She had no clue what they were talking about when in actuality Evie was just comforting Ron over being dumped.  
  
Ginny didn’t have time to ponder what they were doing when someone moved her things from the chair next to her to the floor next to her. It was Neville. She smiled at him as he sat down and she quietly noted the deep blush on his cheeks.  
  
“Are you alright, Neville?” She asked.  
  
He looked at his hands and nodded. “I just wanted to talk to you. Since you’re not doing anything and neither am I and since were both not doing anything, do you want to hang out? In a non romantic way, of course, if you’re uncomfortable or it could be a date if you wanted it to be one—”  
  
Ginny looked at him confused. He was speaking all in one breath and she was having a hard time understanding him. “Neville you’re babbling.”  
  
He smiled. “I don’t babble. I mean I know I mumble, and I know I pronounce words wrong, but I don’t babble,” He said and then blushed.  
  
“Neville,” Ginny said smiling, “Don’t sweat it. It’s cute that you babble.” It was true, most of the time she was around Neville he was stuttering and babbling. At first the way he talked annoyed her but their joint friendship with Hermione exposed her to him to the point she was use to it, even found it adorable. But she admittedly liked Neville better when she could understand what he was saying.  
  
“Okay, you don’t babble. Now, you’re rambling,” she corrected, but quickly cut him off before he could say another word on the subject, “You wanted to talk?”  
  
Neville looked uncomfortable. “Um yeah, I uh, I wanted to say that I like… thatIlikeyouandwanttogooutwithyoubutonlyifyouwantto.”  
  
Ginny stared at him, “Excuse me?” she asked.  
  
“Sorry, I guess I was out of line--” he began to say as he stood stiffly.  
  
“Out of what line? What are you talking about and what did you say earlier, I couldn’t understand you.”  
  
Neville breathed in and out. He squeezed his eyes shut and began to speak in a deliberately slow voice, but his body was tense and Ginny could tell he wanted disappear, “I like you and I want to go on a date with you…but that’s only if you want to.”  
  
Ginny smiled sweetly at him as he looked down at his feet.  
  
Neville was sweet but she never imagined going out with him. She never really thought of him as boyfriend material. I mean sure she flirted with him but he was a guy and she flirted with all guys and it was usually him who started it. It was only natural to flirt back, Right?   
  
She watched as He fidgeted nervously. She thought and understood that he must really like her because he asked her out and he’s never had the courage to ask anyone out, which was sad for a seventh year boy.  
  
“Sure… Neville,” She didn’t even hear herself answer. She liked Neville but not the way he liked her and she didn’t want to lose their friendship by hurting him by answering no.  
  
He looked so happy it was tearing her up by leading him on like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this chapter is obnoxiously short. 
> 
> (This is the conversation between Evie and Ron in the common room that Ginny was listening into.)
> 
> “—Date tonight?” Evie said. She learned closer to Ron and asked very quietly, “When?”   
> “She broke your date tonight?” Harry said. He leaned closer to Ron and asked very quietly, “When?”
> 
> “Well, if it makes you feel better, if I was—” Evie went low and mouthed the rest of her sentence out so Ginny couldn’t hear. “—With you.”   
>  “Well, if it makes you feel better, if I was really a girl,” Harry went low and mouthed the last part of the sentence out. “I’d go out with you?”


End file.
